CASE STUDY 3
Bach Remedy Consulation for Emotinal Support
Client is 37 years old, married with no children. She has a very confident attitude and says that she can be quite an extrovert. She says that she is “biding her time” with work at the moment as she is waiting for the right opportunity to come along and feels under challenged in her present job as a bar manager.
She sometimes has feelings of jealousy. It has become apparent to her that her feelings of jealousy are an expression of fear, she believes this fear to be related to her feelings of abandonment by her father. She believes that these feelings for her father have affected her relationships in the past, and that by being able to express these feelings with her husband helps her to understand her own insecurities.
She also said that she finds it hard to express emotions at times which makes her keep things inside that build up inside her, then expresses them through anger over trivial things, this quite often comes up when she has been drinking alcohol. However, this occurs to a much lesser degree now that she experiences emotional security from her husband.
When she feels homesick she can sometimes feel a bit resentful toward her husband, even though she knows it is unfair. The resentment comes from the fact that he still has his old friends around him but she does not have hers.
Client has what she refers to as her ‘irrational fear of feathers’. There is no known incident in her childhood to explain this.
Client lives with her husband in a warehouse space on a main road near the city with two other people. One is a friend from home and the other person keeps himself to himself.
She and her husband would love to buy the property that they currently rent, but may be forced to move somewhere else, as the owners are unable to sell. They feel that it is time to have their own home to themselves.
Her husband has a job in the entertainment industry, which takes him on tour all over the world; sometimes she accompanies her husband on tour.
Her husband wants to have a child but she does not feel the same way at the moment and in fact feels that it is unlikely to be a suitable option for her. She said that she does not want to bring up a child on her own if her husband is away on tour for periods of time.
She and her sister were put in the hands of foster parents for approximately 8 months when she was 3 years old and her sister 4 years old. She remembers that she used to wet the bed as a child.
Her mother died 5 years ago, which she described as a “big blow”. She said that she regrets that she didn’t get to know her as an adult (as opposed to knowing her solely in a mother-daughter relationship). Her mother was quite strict when she was growing up. Her father was away on tour a lot. At the age of 13 she decided to stand up to her mother, who had a tendency to lose her temper with her and her sister.
She made a decision to marry her boyfriend and move to England which is his home. It was quite a sudden decision and she didn’t feel like it was a big step at the time but later she realised what a massive move she had made. She said that she felt very alone at first and still misses all of her friends. She misses the familiarity and the history that she has with her friend back home. However, she is aware that the move meant the end of an era for her and that it was time to change.
It is quite apparent that the absence of her father during her upbringing has had quite an effect on her. His absence, along with the time that she and her sister spent in a foster home have led to her feelings of abandonment. Her mother was also quite strict, and at times lost her temper. She also said that she regrets not “connecting” with her mother as an adult. These points lead me to believe that as a child her heart needs may not have been met completely and that feelings of rejection (she used the word abandonment readily) are present. For this reason I believe that Gentian is required
Client recognises that her jealousy is due to fear, associated with feeling abandoned by her father. This is a known fear along with her irrational fear of feathers therefore Mimulus would be appropriate. Holly would be an obvious choice for the jealousy, but due to the fact that she is aware that it comes from fear if abandonment I do not feel the need to use Holly for this person as the reasons for her jealousy is heart based (Gentian)
She does not want to have children and a large reason for this seems to be because her husband, like her father, is on tour a lot and expressed quite clearly that she has no intention of being “stuck at home with the baby” as her mother was. I see this as a fear, a known fear of making the same mistake as her parents. (Mimulus)
Also she finds it hard to express her emotions at times, choosing instead to let her anger, insecurities dwell inside even though she appears to be strong and is quite extroverted to those who know her. (Mimulus). Feelings of anger are worse when alcohol is part of the picture.
Client is obviously feeling homesick which makes me think immediately of Honeysuckle. Also honeysuckle helps to release any fears (fear of abandonment/fear of feathers) that are associated with the past. And although there is no strong evidence to this, the fact that she has already confessed to not always being able to express her emotions readily and the way in which she talked about the ‘big blow’ of her mother’s death indicated to me that there may still be some grief attached to her memory of her mother which the presence of honeysuckle could also help with, if need be. Having been through a period of much change, Walnut is indicated. Walnut can also help her to ‘break the link’ of old patterns and fears.
The resentment toward her husband because he has his old friends around him, could be helped well with Dagger Hakea. However, I believe that the other 4 remedies may well deal with the cause of these emotions therefore I may be inclined (unless she asked specifically for an anger/resentment remedy) to first treat her with Gentian, Mimulus, Honeysuckle and Walnut and see how she goes from there.
I think that if the heart is healed by Gentian and Mimulus is used to deal with the fear then I believe that her feelings of anger and insecurity will subside. With the help of Honeysuckle and Walnut I feel that she will be able to leave past fears behind her and will feel more “at home” with all the changes that have been made in her life and will therefore feel less inclined towards resenting her husband.
- Dagger Hakea
Dosage: 4 drops 4 x per day.
Outcomes at 4 weeks:
Following the consultation process it was clear that the client felt a sense of relief. This I attribute to the length of the consultation and the fact that she felt “listented to'” which she quoted on a follow up call.
During the follow up call, the client said that she started to feel more relaxed after the first week and that during the following weeks she had experienced a lot of dreams, most of which she could only remember for a short period after waking. She did remember one dream about her mother which seemed quite significant. Therefore, I suggested that she keep a diary next to her bed if she wished to record the process to possibly reflect upon them. I highly recommend this to my clients who are gaining support for emotion control, particulary if they are reciving Counselling.
The client said that the feeling of calmness remained and has only since felt feeling of anger on a couple of occassion, but felt more able to express her feeling to her husband. She has not told her husband about the treatment but noted that he has been more attentive than usual. She believes this might be because she is being more honest about her insecurities.
Her feelings of feeling homesick and desire to more of her own friends has lessened but still remains as does her worry about having children. Having said that, she did say that the “whole baby thing” seems less of an “issue” now.
I have now included Dagger Hakea along with the original 4 remedies to assist with any further feelings of resentment.